Hard;

I don't know how to feel or how to cope anymore. I don't know what I ever deserved to have so much hurt from the people who are supposed to care for me. I feel invisible, I feel like 'just a mum.' Just because I'm a mother doesn't mean I don't have feelings too. Don't get me wrong I love my daughter so much, more than anything, but I'd like people to notice me for once. Instead I get told I'm a horrible mother, I don't look after her, I don't care about her, she's better off without me. If that's so then why does she always want her mummy? Why is she currently laid on me asleep, cuddled up to me not wanting to let go. I do absolutely everything for her and I always will. I'm trying to make our future a better one by studying at college, I'm trying so hard but it's never good enough for anyone. I'm not allowed to be happy. I'm a waste of space. To be quite honest, I'm getting so sick of it all I don't even want to be alive. I get told she doesn't need me..I get told I'm an immature selfish cow, I get told I never put her first..'You chose to be a mother' I chose to be a mother in a family, I never chose for her so called father to leave me at 17, alone, pregnant..Being a lone parent is one of the hardest tasks in life, people don't understand this unless they've been through it..I hate how my own family drive me to depression. Why can't I just be loved?